Losing Tango

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Losing Tango

I'm not sure where to begin. I could start by saying I had to put a horse down. Or I could start by saying my old Thoroughbred had an abscess that ended up deadly. Wherever I begin, it ends the same. Tango is gone. And I miss him.

Several months ago I felt Tango saying he was not going to make it through the summer. I tried to ignore it, but it remained in the back of my mind. I am practicing my animal communication daily, and becoming pretty good at it. Of course, when I heard this I chose to think I was way of base and had a vivid imagination.

In the beginning of the year, my friend Sean was riding Tango with me and Scottie. They became fast friends and we all had a great time. I think Tango really enjoyed being out with his pasture buddy, finally. Then in March the rain started. One clear day I took Tango out on a spur of the moment ride. I'd been missing him since Sean was riding him, and decided it would be nice to take him out alone. We rode down to the river and he had a great time splashing around. Which, by the way, was only the second time he entered the water. He typically would spin and say, "water, no way. can't get THESE feet wet." I could tell he actually enjoyed himself. We headed back home, a short ride since I didn't want to overdo it.

Headed towards home he liked to gallop. But we were way down by the water and that's a long way. But he really wanted to. So.....I let him. He was always fun that way. If he had it in him, all you had to do was get up in a galloping seat and we would take off. The race horse in him was always there. So up that L O N G gradual hill we went galloping. All the way to the top. Wow, the smile on my face went for miles! He was huffing and puffing at the top, but he was thrilled with himself that he did it. We walked out of the woods, and when we got to the bluestone path that leads to home, again, he asked to gallop. So we did. The wind in his mane, the deep black flapping in front of me. He would get long and low, like the race horse he was, and almost disappear from under me. But I knew he had brakes if I needed them so I was never concerned. He never once tried to be a run away.

I was so happy. And he was too. For some reason when we arrived home, I thought to myself, that could very well be our last gallop.

The rest of March and most of April rained. No one went out. Then I fell off Scottie on April 24, broke my ankle, and didn't ride till a few weeks ago. I rode Astro in the field while Lauren rode Tango. We pretended we were ranchers surveying our land.

On Sunday, June 7 I set out on a trail ride with Astro, Lauren & Tango. The ride was mainly to get me out on the trail again. My first trail ride since my big incident. On the way home I thought I noticed Tango jigging, which was a common thing for him. Since I wasn't sure how Lauren would handle that, I rode up closer to get a better look. I noticed a very pronounced head bob. He was lame.

The lameness progressed and on Thursday, June 11 the vet diagnosed an abscess. No big deal. He's had them before. I'd soak his foot in hot water and epsom salt and it would pop in a day or 2. But it didn't. Instead, his entire coronet band swelled. Huge.
It kept swelling. Looked like it was going to come out in 2 places, but never did. On Tues. June 23 the vet came out and drilled the two places open. It did some draining but still, the swelling never left. It was obvious he was in a lot of pain. Only touching his toe down, trying to hop on 3 legs. Pain killers, antibiotics, soaking, poulticing, we did it all. He was telling me this was it.

He would lay down in the field, put his head down and say, "I'm tired. My body is old. I've worked hard. It's time to let go." I would cry and say "No, I am not ready to let go! I am going to do everything I can to save you." One day during this repeated conversation, I turned to walk away and very clearly I heard, "You are being selfish." WOW. I took a breath, returned with, "I know and I don't care." Then I went to the barn and cried because I knew there was nothing I could do. I knew he had to go.

I went to the vet's and picked up MORE antibiotics. A week went by. It was intense care, but we loved it. We wanted him to be more comfortable. By this point he was lying down a lot. You could see the age in his face.
The vet was scheduled to come back out on Wed., July 1. On the night of the 30th Tango gave my kids hope by trying to trot in for dinner. We went out to check on him later that night and found him lying down in his stall, head down too. I had to give him his oral antibiotic, which he hated. Well, he allowed me to give it to him while lying there. He didn't even lift his head. All 3 of us started crying. It was so sad. When Tango heard Lauren crying as she walked into his stall, I heard him say, "I can't make my girl cry. " And then he struggled to his feet. We all knew what the vet was going to say in the morning. I spent a lot of that night out there with him. Even checking on him and rewrapping the foot at midnight.

The vet arrived around 10:30am. Xrays were needed and what they showed was bad. The infection ate away at his coffin bone. There was nothing that could be done. We also found a bad case of navicular. Dr. Broadus said that given the recent riding he did, that he was incredible. He should've been lame from that alone for quite some time. In between rain storms in March I would turn Tango out and he would gallop from one side of the pasture to the other, and sometimes back and forth again. Given the case of navicular, THAT was amazing.

Always the proud, honorable race horse related to famed blood lines of Bold Ruler, War Admiral and Man O War.

May 23,1983-July 1, 2009